Double Meanings
by Shadow Phantom
Summary: Percy Weasley attends a Prefects meeting on the Hogwarts Express and is forced to interact with Penelope Clearwater disdainful, bushy haired, and hater of his glasses.


Disclaimer: I sometimes dream about swimming in giant piles of money only to wake up and realize that I am not British, nor do I live in a castle.

Rated PG for: A naughty word.

Author's Note: It is the night of a thousand fic! Another old one, but sort of adorable. This was from my obsession stage with Percy and Penelope and I had way too much fun writing it on a challenge. I do hope you enjoy.

-

Double Meanings

-

This was certainly not the first time Percy Weasley had ever boarded the Hogwarts Express, and neither was it the last. For some inexplicable reason, however, Percy found something catching in the back of his throat, and building up in the pit of his stomach.

He didn't quite understand it. After all, it wasn't his first year as Prefect (although he did hope it was his last), so there were no new duties to be nervous about. It was, admittedly, Ginny's first year, but he hadn't been like this Ron's first year.

Granted, Ginny was his only sister, and the baby of the family at that, but certainly the fact that his intestines were trying to tie themselves into knots was a signal that there was something else involved.

He thought briefly that perhaps he shouldn't have eaten breakfast while Fred and George were sitting at the table.

After tersely telling off a group of fourth years for not sitting in their car, he headed for the annual Prefect's meeting. Upon entering the boxcar, Percy was suddenly and unpleasantly remembered just what he loathed about Hogwarts so much.

Penelope Clearwater.

She was talking to the other Ravenclaw Prefect sixth year, her bushy hair stuffed into an unceremonious ponytail, her legs hidden by a lengthy enough skirt, the collar of her shirt perfectly folded and pressed.

When he walked by she caught a glance of him out of the corner of her eye but said nothing. It seemed these days that Penelope favored either a "bastard" or cold silence when she was in the presence of Percy Weasley. He really had no idea why. He did call her "Penny" at every opportunity, but really after her behavior last year, and that comment about his glasses, Percy felt he was more than justified. It was also true that after hard work, she had only received an 'E' on her Arithmancy O.W.L. Well, he _had_ offered to help with that, and he didn't see why she felt the need to have written him that letter over the summer about it.

"We've decided to increase inter-house relationships this year," Philip Brady, seventh year Hufflepuff Head Boy announced without preamble. Not surprising, considering that was the goal every year from every Head student in the history of Hogwarts. They all secretly dreamed of getting a trophy bigger than Tom bloody Riddle's, the most impressive Head Boy Hogwarts had ever seen.

Even if he had been a Slytherin.

The dull ache in his stomach became more prevalent, as Emma took over from Philip. "We'll be pairing you with other houses for this team building activity. Each of you will work with every other one of you from your year by the time this is done."

Of course, it just so happened to be Percy's luck that he was paired with Penelope straight off. "Build a house of cards," Philip instructed. Percy fingered the stack carefully, noticing that they were the same decks used to play Exploding Snap. Fantastic.

"The smaller it is, the less likely it'll explode while we work on it," Penelope said, taking a few cards and propping them against each other. "Bastard," she added for good measure.

Percy snorted his disapproval. "The smaller card house only proves we don't have the ambition to create something harder, but ultimately more impressive." Only a sharp bite of the tongue stopped him from adding the point, "much like building inter-house relationships". Penelope caught the gist of this anyway, and glared at him.

"You don't know everything, Percy Weasley," she growled at him, followed by muttering that sounded very akin to "twelve bloody oustandings".

He bristled at this. Just because he recognized the benefits of studying for his exams would have on his chances of receiving excellent results didn't mean that he had to be chastised for it. After all, Penelope was a Prefect too, and in Ravenclaw, which meant that she was by no means stupid. "I offered to help you study for Arithmancy," he said finally.

It seemed that Percy had correctly interpreted Penelople's mutterings, because she stiffened, and let out a cry of dismay as the house exploded and promptly collapsed. "I know," she said testily, "you didn't have to do it with that stupid ponce of yours, though. 'Excuse me, Penelope, I know that we have squabbled rather viciously in the past, but I seem to have noticed the trouble you are having in the class' - " she let out a strangled noise, and Percy resisted to add building card houses " – 'so, if you would be interested I would gladly aid you in your studies.' Sod this!" Penelope cried, and let the cards fall to the charred table.

"I don't sound like that!" Percy protested, reaching for the fallen cards.

Penelope snorted. "Sure you don't. When you're not being a saint, you're pretending to with your sarcasm. The cards will fall if you put them like that." Sure enough, the half-completed structure fell over.

"I'll have you know that I do not feel superior, nor do I have any intention of being condescending to you-"

"And yet, you do it so naturally," she muttered.

"Maybe it's better if we don't talk," he suggested, taking his glasses off and cleaning them with his robes.

She said nothing, although she eyed his glasses with a twitch in the corner of her mouth and turned back to the deck of cards. Luckily, all the other pairings seemed to be having an equally difficult time of it, despite the fact that they weren't lunging at each other's throats.

Another ten minutes went by in frustrated silence. "Tiny," Percy said. "Let's make it really small." He bowed his head to her. "Forgive me for ignoring your first brilliant suggestion, which said that the towers have to be small, and so do the steps in which we will increase goodwill between houses."

She rolled her eyes. "No sarcasm? Thanks, Percy." Penelope quickly threw the cards into a small tower and raised her hand. Philip smiled and nodded.

"It seems that our sixth year team has finally discovered the secret. Care to explain?"

Percy adjusted his glasses and was about to begin when he caught Penelope out of the corner of his eye, sighing and shaking her head. Again. "Actually, I believe it was Penelope that explained the concept to me, and I'm afraid I would do a poor job of repeating it. Penelope?"

In addition to looking shocked, she was also the only one who looked as if she might burst into laughter. Everybody else waited expectantly for her to talk. "Even though our card house is ridiculously small, that's really the idea. We can't expect for the houses to make giant leaps and bounds in one sitting, the best we can hope for is small advances at a time."

"Brilliance!" Philip exclaimed. "New partners now."

Penelope turned to him. "I'm sorry about that letter. And your glasses. They're really not all the bad."

He adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses. "No, they really are a distinguished style. Thank you for the apology, Penelope." He held out his hand, forgetting for once that the Head Girl and Boy had been hoping their activities would lead to this sort of thing.

She laughed and shook it. "Call me Penny," she said.

"But I thought that you-"

"I still do." Percy found himself confused (an activity which he prided himself on being a rarity). At the look on his face, Penelope huffed and rolled her eyes. "I'll see you at school, you great arrogant bastard." Then, inexplicably, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, before heading over to the other Gryffindor Prefect.

Before he could so much open his mouth in question, Penelope's fellow Prefect approached him with a smile and a wave which Percy returned.

As the two boys attempted to discover the flavors of the disguised Bertie Bott's beans in front of them without actually eating any, Percy glanced up. Penelope bit a bean in half, then threw her head back in laughter.

He was relieved to note that his stomach felt quite a lot better.


End file.
